7 tips on running a successful difficult meeting


Following on a previous blog on 7 tips on how to prepare for a meeting , I had been strategic on preparing my “difficult” meeting. By difficult, I did not mean that the content of the meeting was difficult but that the person I was dealing with, I consider difficult.

Now if you treat people with respect and have the arguments on your side, then it is not that difficult and if you start with considering that there is no difficult people, then life becomes immediately easier.

1/ Change the vocabulary you use: difficult is not a very nice word. What about challenging, interesting, life-changing, provoking.  You can even use an antonym of difficult, for example manageable, straightforward, and uncomplicated and then you are in the flow

2/ Make sure you stay positive, just before the meeting, I was nervous so as I ordered some drinks at the Tesco Café, I started chatting to the gentleman next to me and even laughed with him on the heat wave and the work life balance.

3/ Start with the human touch: in this case a cup of tea and a cake, I bought an almond croissant as I am in England but you can adapt that to wherever you are, I also explained to my ex  why I do not drink coffee anymore and broke the ice by telling him a little funny  story around that.

4/ Make eye contact without staring but if you feel more nervous, remake eye contact on a regular basis

5/ Be prepared to listen, even if you are a chatty one. Listen first and let the other one finish his sentences, that’s key. I have realised for a chatty person, if you let the other one talk, they get even more attracted to you. You can also use that in dating and it makes you a better person in any case!

6/ Use body language mirroring, I did it about 3 times and just gently mirrored the body language of my ex a few times. You need to be subtle but it is a good technique used to keep rapport.

7/ Keep positive and focused: I was so positive and upbeat and smiled a lot that there was no way I could be defeated. I started with the chit chat and catching up, got to the point and put my arguments and my documents to back them up forward and then I mentioned the most controversial part at the end. By that time, we were both relaxed and the bad did not seem that bad anymore for either of us. We reconciled our differences and this was good.

I am going to finish by saying thank you to a few people who helped me the day before, my friend Rob who had ideas on how to present it positively, my friend Sharon who supported a work conversation and helped me to find clarity.

Helene is a dreamer, a poet, a trainer,  a coach, a mother, a daughter.  She is passionate about helping others to find their voice through her training. Get in touch with her helenemusso.com. If you want to book a discovery call with her, please get in touch on 07875627485 or email beconfident@helenemusso.com


Are you feeling fully confident?

are you feeling confident?Are you feeling fully confident?

A reflective and confident and honest! account on how to get some confidence back into your life.

In my search for a little je ne se quoi and a little bit more va va voom, after the holidays so that I could get some work, feel a little bit more focused, and feel as if I make a real contribution to this world instead of moping around feeling sorry for myself, I started thinking that I needed to reread some books to give me some inspiration.  In my blog yesterday  I talked about Real Love which is a book, a bit of a manual, to help you deal with children, but you could apply the principles to other people.

But I also thought “it’s all well and good, but I need something to inspire me in my field of work.”

So I just think a bit more about what I’m good at, what I’m offering to the world. What I actually can do instead of thinking “oh, no!  I have to restart, I need to wonder if I do this and I do that.” So I actually thought, “Who do I know?” and “What do I know?” about my own field of expertise.

Then I pondered for a few seconds, then I realised I have written a book myself!

What is my book all about?  What is the title of my book, already?

 The Power of Outrageous Expression

My own internal voice carried on:

Helene, you’ve written a book about expressing yourself and having the courage to express yourself.  Yet you’re not using your own principles? Are you forgetting what you’ve learnt?” I realised that what I needed to do was to revisit what I was good at, what I knew, so I could start afresh.  So today, I’m picking up my own book and part of me felt a bit cheeky ‘Picking up my own book?’ Are there no other books to read?  But my own stories in my own book highlight what my own achievements and remind me how far I have managed to get to.

Inspiring people to take risks, inspiring people to have a voice, helping others to stand up for themselves and to get more confident, more assertive and if I want to inspire anyone I need to be myself inspired.  So if you’d like to get that book you can buy it from Amazon and I hope it helps you too!

I’m running an offer on for this book at £5.00 for the whole of September, just to get you going so don’t hesitate, go and get it here.   It is a start to get you fully confident and if you want to get into a conversation, book a discovery call by phoning me on 07875627485  Have a fantastic day.


Best Tips for Confident Public Speaking: Fear goes beyond language

Speaking at events is always daunting and I have noticed that it is scary for anyone even if English is your mother tongue. One is 4 people would rather die than to speak in public!  For a foreigner, you have to work even harder

My best  tips specifically for you as a foreigner

Articulate every word and practice the difficult words beforehand.

Slow down even more as your accent might mean that your audience needs to adjust to the sound of your voice.

Vary your tone and intonation– we forget that in a second language we might become monotonous  and speak at one level only, either too loud or too soft or  with the same intonation. Record yourself and notice how your voice goes up and down. Rally a few English speaking friends and ask them to comment on the way you  speak. Scary but worthwhile!

Value your story– you are a foreigner and even with some prejudices about your country, the British or other English speaking nationals will be curious about you so make the most of it and your world will open to the world of your adoptive country! Good luck!

All the best. Have a fab day and please comment or tweet my blog to get more foreigners at ease with this strange language that it English!

Be Confident with Helene Musso specialises in helping foreigners- speaking English as a foreign language- to become fully confident in expressing themselves in any given situations. With Helene’s experience, you or your team  will work in a safe and non- judgmental way to develop the confidence to become best communicators, using English with ease. Helene has experience of training in public speaking, presentation skills, interviews skills and assertiveness skills.